What happens

when you and the person that you love want some very different things out of life?
Answer me that.

I am

REALLY FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW!!!!!
I can't tell anybody why though. Just in case things do work out for me in the end
Which, at the way they're going, probably isn't going to happen.

But on a different note, does anyone want to go to San Francisco with me this summer? I was thinking of going by train (Amtrak) and would be leaving on the fifteenth if anyone is interested.

Well, since I can't really talk about what it is that I wanted to talk about, here is the continuation of that meme that I've been doing:

Day 3. What is your favorite television show of all time?

Yikes, that's a hard one. You know, I really do love It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and it is probably one of my favorite shows of all time, ever. Buuuut, I have to be honest. And some of you will laugh at me. But I freaking love Roseanne. No joke

That show is just super relatable and I can see a bit of one of my family members in each character. Especially the grandmother, yeesh, my own grandmother should've tried out for the part. She wouldn't have had to act one bit :/

Resigned.

First of all, I would like to thank my friend Emily for getting New Order stuck in my head. I hadn't heard Ceremony in forevvver, and it's a nice change from the bluegrass that I've been singing all weekend :D

Yesterday was pretty alright. I did lunch with my friend Krystal at our favorite dive, Carnita's Queretaro. I'm super happy that she's going vegetarian again, so that now I have someone to share my meals with! We split a Mil Amores (Thousand Loves, ooh la la) salad, and moved on to delicious potato bean and cheese burrito. No pictures of that because I was ravenous and totally was not thinking about pictures at the time.

Then we went out with her and her friend Ziad and they taught me how to drive. Because I swear to god, I am going to get my stupid license if it kills me!!!!!! Geez! But I actually did super well considering that I hadn't been behind the wheel of a car in almost a year. In fact, maybe just a couple more drives and I'll be set to get my license? Maybe? Hopefully.... Anyway we drove around all over the place until they decided to go check out a potential "ghost hunting spot."

Now, Krystal, is a bit of a chicken, but I have to give her credit because she seems always down to go ghost hunting. But this particular spot was waaaaaaay out in the boonies. Like, down by Horizon City kind of boonies. It's like this ruined gazebo thing that is next to some old abandoned "haunted" house where people do like Satanic rituals and things like that. But when we got to the gazebo, it was really hard to believe that it was anything close to Satanic because it was so beautiful. The pillars of the gazebo looked like we were standing in some sort of Roman ruin, and the sun was shining, and it overlooked farming fields and you could just make out the horizon of the west side. Gah, it was so pretty. Luckily I took pictures this time.



Okay, okay. I only took one picture because after that I got distracted by a troupe of quail that were walking by! I freaking love quail. And there were bunnies everywhere too. It was a nature filled afternoon and it was really peaceful too considering I was standing on site that was supposedly haunted.

And guess who was the lucky fella who got to drives us home all the way from the ends of the east side? Me!!! Of course. Although I don't know where they got the idea to stick me on the freeway on my first day. But eh. We made it.

Although I am sad to report that there probably won't be very many pictures for awhile. My point and shoot is on it's last leg, and unless I can somehow make money appear in my pocket to buy myself an SLR, I'm doomed. Which sucks, because I really wanted a new camera just in case that trip to Frisco does work out in the end. On the other hand, the camera I am eyeing is worth probably the same amount as a trip to Frisco.
Everyone, meet the Canon Rebel.


Sigh.
Oh!! And I almost forgot about that meme thing.

Day 2. What is your favourite movie ever?
Well, I don't know that this is my favourite movie ever ever. But is certainly is one of my very very top favorites.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I haven't met a single person who hasn't fallen in love with this movie after they've seen it and I can understand why.
Also, Derick and I have deemed this "our" movie. Teehee. I know, it's corny, but it reminds us a lot of one another. And besides, it's just one of those snuggle up on a rainy day with your love kinds of movies. Right?

<3

Fire

So, here's this meme that's been going around Tumblr and Facebook a lot lately, but since I really don't use my Tumblr anymore, and I don't want everyone on Facebook to see this, I figure I'll post it here :)

Day 1: My favourite song of all time.
Day 2: My favourite movie of all time
Day 3: My favorite television program
Day 4: My favorite book
Day 5: My favorite quote
Day 6: My biggest pet peeve
Day 7: A photo that makes me happy
Day 8: A photo that makes me angry or sad
Day 9: A photo I took
Day 10: A photo of me taken over ten years ago
Day 11: A photo of me taken recently
Day 12: Whatever tickles my fancy
Day 13: A fictional book
Day 14: A non-fictional book
Day 15: A fanfic
Day 16: A song that makes me cry
Day 17: An art piece
Day 18: Whatever tickles my fancy
Day 19: A talent of mine
Day 20: A hobby of mine
Day 21: A recipe
Day 22: A website
Day 23: A YouTube video
Day 24: Whatever tickles my fancy
Day 25: My day, in great detail
Day 26: My week, in great detail
Day 27: My month, in great detail
Day 28: My year, in great detail
Day 29: Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30: Whatever tickles my fancy


Day 1: I don't think I really have a favourite song of all time anymore. And those kinds of questions confuse me a little because there are just so many options. But here's one of my favorite songs that has stayed with me through various times in my life

I've been...

...kind of a bad girl

I bought another dress D:
I know, I know. You won't be able to tell me anything that I haven't already told myself the moment buyer's remorse set it.
You don't have the money for it, blah blah, where will you ever wear it to, blah blah, you already have buttloads of dresses, blah blah, blah...


But, before you judge, take a look at this little beauty of a dress:



Right??? Isn't it super cute?? It's a dress from Modcloth entitled the Pinup Girl dress. And really, how could I not get a dress with a name like that?

If you're still in doubts about my purchase, just hear me out...
I want you to envision exactly what I envisioned the moment I whipped out my credit card.
Okay, so picture this, gorgeous number of a dress paired with:

Some delicious cherry red mary janes


And equally delicious red faux patent leather clutch


A lovely little red rose clip for my hair which will be styled all nice and retro like


And last but not least, some ruby red lipstick to pull it all together


Do you see what I mean??? Gah, why am I such a sucker for dresses?
And you better believe that if the above clutch and mary janes hadn't been about two hundred dollars each, they would have been mine by now

Heyyy

Mama rock me :D

I'm pretty sure that the people in my family are pretty darn tired of hearing me replay and re-sing that song over and over again. But they've been kind enough not to say anything, and besides, after all of these years, I think they understand that I pretty much go for broke when it comes to a new favorite song...

Last night was sooo perfect. So perfect that I couldn't even stay awake long enough to blog about it once I came home. I'm pretty sure that the moment I flopped into bed, I was out cold. Apparently I even stayed that way because when I woke up, the bed looked like no one had even touched it. I was Out. Cold.

But I had every right to be. Lisa's graduation party last night was so fun and was a perfect way to kick off summer nights with friends. Everyone raved about how bomb her husbands steaks were, everyone shared memories that made perfect stories, and wine bottle after wine bottle was opened and emptied. I didn't actually get a chance to see how bomb her husbands steaks were seeing as how I don't eat animals. But it is very rare when the smell of cooking meat is actually appetizing to me, and damn if his cooking didn't turn me ravenous. But don't worry, I stuck with the chips and the potato salad :)

It was lovely.

And, I don't know, I've always had a soft spot for backyard barbeques, even if I never partook in the actual barbeque part. I don't really know why, but I am just so in love with backyards. They're magical. Every backyard I've ever been to, no matter how large or small, has the same cozy home feel to it. And they all have that same dewey, wet grass smell which I realized last night, I am in love with.

Speaking of love, there are a couple of other love related things that I need to mention:
First of all, I don't know if it's the spring/summer/weather/ whatever, but it feels like everyday I'm falling head over heels for my guy all over again, and it's wonderful. We've been together for about a year now, so we've become pretty, really, extremely comfortable with each other. The winter wore us into one another, and we've reached that "knowing what the other is thinking exactly" stage of a relationship, which is really freaking useful. But lately, every time I think about him or see him, I turn into that giddy, excited girl that I was back when we first started dating. And I don't know, but I think this combination is pretty awesome. That comfortable sort of love that couples of fifty years share mixed with that new passionate sort of love that everyone experiences. I love it, and I hope it stays this way forever.

Also, I think I'm starting to really like wine. And not in the way that high schoolers drink wine in a box and say that they like wine. But a true appreciation for it. I mean, I used to work with it a lot at good old Bella Napoli, but I never cared much for drinking it. But now, I'm finding myself craving a good malbec with my larger meals, and last night, damn if I didn't put away like six or seven glasses of cabernet. But I couldn't stop, the flavor fit the mood of the party so perfectly, I just couldn't bring myself to turn down any glass that was offered. Although, I have to say, I now remember why I stopped drinking in the first place. The morning after sucks. I didn't even get drunk and I feel like every cell in my body is screaming for water. Jeez.



But as I was saying, last night was b-e-a-utiful. And it makes me super excited for alllll for the summer nights that we having coming to meet us.
Cheers!
<3

I think I may have turned...

Into a bluegrass lover



I'm sorry that I'm always shoving music down your throats at the very beginning of my entries. Like it's a pre-requisite to be able to read the rest of my blog. But this song has been one of those that has recently embedded itself into my head and heart.
It's a song that I've been playing loudly and on repeat for the past couple of days, which in my opinion, is the only proper way to appreciate a newly found and loved song.

Last night was super fun. I spent pretty much all of it with my handsome devil of a man. Have I mentioned how much I love that guy? I know I have, but I'm in a love-y kind of mood right now and I just want to keep saying it over and over until the world stops spinning.

It wasn't even a truly eventful night, but I consider every second of time that I get to spend with him a treat.

First he came over and we got in some cuddle time. We were actually supposed to go to the movies, but we got a bit lazy and kept putting it off until there weren't any showings left.
"What time is it babe?"
"Uhh...seven ten?"
"What time was our showing?"
"Seven?"
"Oh, well we can just catch the next one."

And it went on pretty much like that until we just kind of figured that the movie thing wasn't going to happen.
From there we went to a park and sat in the car for hours and just talked. I love just talking, especially just talking with Derick because he comes up with some pretty wild notions. And hearing the thoughts that float around in his head is my idea of a good time.
From there we made a burger king run and swung by his place to watch the very first Ironman, which I had never seen. Actually, the movie that we were supposed to go see was Ironman 2 but we both agreed that it would be irresponsible to watch it if I hadn't actually seen the first one.

Looking back, it wasn't a very eventful night but I had so much fun. I think it's because it's slowly starting to turn into summer and summer nights are always a blast, even when you're not really doing much of anything.

Tonight should be pretty eventful though. Derick and I were invited to a graduation party for one of his friends. This sounds like it should be fun because I love the person whose party it is, and I get to dress up! The party is for one of Derick's long time friends, and her husband is throwing it for her at his parent's house because they have a huge backyard. My only concern is that it's a barbeque, and I'm kind of the antithesis of barbeque, what with being a leaf-eater and all. But either way it should be a really great night.
Derick said we might even try going to see Ironman again if we're not too lazy this time :)

Well that's it for my squishy, emotionally driven post :)
Have a great day Bloggerland.

Miracle Drug

Even though I've been diggin' A.C. Newman a lot more than I ever have before in my life (hence title Miracle Drug), this New Pornographers song has been stuck in my head since it was released about a week ago on their new album. You should give it a listen, but I warn you, it's pretty catchy D:




This day was pretty okay. I use "okay" tentatively though.
This morning was crazy.
So I woke up at seven thirty-ish so that I could catch my eight twenty-ish bus to school so that I could take my 10am American History from 1865 final. Needless to say the bus was waaay late, and I made it to school with a good amount of time to spare. But sitting in El Paso morning sun waiting for a bus that I thought was never coming started making me suuuuper anxious. I ran some errands at school, feeling fine the whole time, but then things didn't start feeling very well at all. Everything got really spinny, and my mind couldn't stop racing, and my breaths started getting a lot more shallow, and my stomach started feeling very topsy turvey, until the next thing I know I'm kneeling in front of a toilet, and being really thankful that no one else was in the bathroom with me :/

Honestly, I don't know what happened, like yeah, I've gotten anxiety attacks before, but nothing like this. Usually I'm pretty good about putting a stopper on things like that before they get to me. But for some reason, I worked myself up into such a tizzy that it made me sick. I feel like a five year old :/

I don't know where this anxiety is coming from though. I think it started last night, when right before I tried going to sleep. I thought one thought, and then it turned into another thought, and another, and another, until my mind was going a mile a minute.
Luckily Derick called to say goodnight. And so he got to get an earful of me ranting, and crying, and raving like I was going nuts. Poor guy, all he wanted to do was say goodnight :(

Things started looking up after my little "incident" though. I think I did really well on my history test.
At least I feel like I did well
I hope that I did well...

Then I went off to my last day of Design and had my Woody Allens critiqued. As a class we decided that Mr. Complimentary Allen looked more like a Complimentary Bill Nye the science guy. And we decided that I should do a series of guys that just look like my Woody Allens.
For instance:
Orville Redenbacher (popcorn guy)
And Where's Waldo




So then I just came home and passed out the moment I did :/ and after I publish this, I think I'll probably just pass out again.
Tomorrow is the first day of my summer so tonight, I think I'm probably just going to catch up on all of the sleeping that I didn't do this semester ;)
I hope you guys will do the same :D

P.S. Whenever I'm working on a new post, all it does is give me html and not actual images. Working with html makes me nervous so if anyone can tell me how to change it back, I'd love you forever!

American in Paris...

So about writing an entry a day, everyday until my birthday... I guess I lied :/
Really, I just didn't have anything to talk about.
That, and I wanted to finish my Woody Allens first so that I could have a show and tell

For those who I haven't complained to, my Woody Allens are two low reliefs made out of matteboard, cut and painted to look like Woody Allen. They're for my final project in design and they have been the bane of my existence for the past two weeks...mainly because I'm lazy. Well, I finally finished both of them tonight, and even though it's not my best work, I'm just glad to say they're done.
I'd like to introduce you all to Misters Monochromatic Allen and Complimentary Allen:



The one on the left is made with complimentary colors: Yellow and purple, red and green, orange and blue, etc
The one on the right is monochromatic, even though it doesn't look like it. The base color was what the tube of paint called "Flesh" but I think the person whose flesh it was supposed to match was George Hamilton's because it came out waaaay too orange.



Ba doom chhh. Get it? Eh? Eh? :D

Anyway, everything else is going pretty okay. Well, kind of, not really. I still don't have a job, and I still don't really talk to anyone. And I failed that stupid art history class. Which is really embarrassing, because who fails an art history class? But the cool thing is that I get to retake it in the summer with the badass Dr. Schultz who I had last semester, and who I was pretty teacher's pet-ish with. She's so much fun, and I'm positive that I'll pass the class with at least a high B if she's my professor.
But until then, I'm stuck feeling guilty about my failed class until summer 2 rolls around.

I decided to take summer 2 instead of both summer 1 and 2 because I was supposed to be going on vacation in June. I mean, I still kind of am, but it's only for a weekend to Tucson. The original plan was that my family and my guy were going to go to Tucson to say hi to my aunt and her boyfriend and his kiddos for a few days. Then Derick and I would take off somewhere grand and exciting, and have loads of fun, and make memories and whatever. But of course, that fell though so now it's just me, my family, and some more southwestern desert :/ Don't get me wrong, I love my family and the southwestern desert, but I would've loved escaping to somewhere new with the mister.

On the bright side, I bought a new dress. It's from ModCloth which is a bit ambitious for someone who is currently unemployed, but whatever, I thought it was cute, AND I get to wear it to my friends "wedding" where the bridesmaids have to wear red. (I'm a bridesmaid.)


By the way, is it just me, or is everyone either getting engaged, married, or pregnant? Like it's crazy how many people I'm seeing who are putting up sonograms as their profile pictures. Not that it's a bad thing at all. It's just amazing to me that everyone is moving forward with their lives. And it kind of stings too, because I'm sitting here jobless and frustrated and all of these really good things are happening to everyone around me. Oh well, maybe I just have to wait for my good stuff to happen, right?

Well, I guess I'll write a bit more tomorrow :)
I mean it this time
Wish me luck on my History final and my Design critique!
And I'll wish you luck on whatever it is that you need luck for :)

P.S. Thinking about getting a job at Victoria's Secret. Thoughts?