I've been...

...kind of a bad girl

I bought another dress D:
I know, I know. You won't be able to tell me anything that I haven't already told myself the moment buyer's remorse set it.
You don't have the money for it, blah blah, where will you ever wear it to, blah blah, you already have buttloads of dresses, blah blah, blah...


But, before you judge, take a look at this little beauty of a dress:



Right??? Isn't it super cute?? It's a dress from Modcloth entitled the Pinup Girl dress. And really, how could I not get a dress with a name like that?

If you're still in doubts about my purchase, just hear me out...
I want you to envision exactly what I envisioned the moment I whipped out my credit card.
Okay, so picture this, gorgeous number of a dress paired with:

Some delicious cherry red mary janes


And equally delicious red faux patent leather clutch


A lovely little red rose clip for my hair which will be styled all nice and retro like


And last but not least, some ruby red lipstick to pull it all together


Do you see what I mean??? Gah, why am I such a sucker for dresses?
And you better believe that if the above clutch and mary janes hadn't been about two hundred dollars each, they would have been mine by now

Heyyy

Mama rock me :D

I'm pretty sure that the people in my family are pretty darn tired of hearing me replay and re-sing that song over and over again. But they've been kind enough not to say anything, and besides, after all of these years, I think they understand that I pretty much go for broke when it comes to a new favorite song...

Last night was sooo perfect. So perfect that I couldn't even stay awake long enough to blog about it once I came home. I'm pretty sure that the moment I flopped into bed, I was out cold. Apparently I even stayed that way because when I woke up, the bed looked like no one had even touched it. I was Out. Cold.

But I had every right to be. Lisa's graduation party last night was so fun and was a perfect way to kick off summer nights with friends. Everyone raved about how bomb her husbands steaks were, everyone shared memories that made perfect stories, and wine bottle after wine bottle was opened and emptied. I didn't actually get a chance to see how bomb her husbands steaks were seeing as how I don't eat animals. But it is very rare when the smell of cooking meat is actually appetizing to me, and damn if his cooking didn't turn me ravenous. But don't worry, I stuck with the chips and the potato salad :)

It was lovely.

And, I don't know, I've always had a soft spot for backyard barbeques, even if I never partook in the actual barbeque part. I don't really know why, but I am just so in love with backyards. They're magical. Every backyard I've ever been to, no matter how large or small, has the same cozy home feel to it. And they all have that same dewey, wet grass smell which I realized last night, I am in love with.

Speaking of love, there are a couple of other love related things that I need to mention:
First of all, I don't know if it's the spring/summer/weather/ whatever, but it feels like everyday I'm falling head over heels for my guy all over again, and it's wonderful. We've been together for about a year now, so we've become pretty, really, extremely comfortable with each other. The winter wore us into one another, and we've reached that "knowing what the other is thinking exactly" stage of a relationship, which is really freaking useful. But lately, every time I think about him or see him, I turn into that giddy, excited girl that I was back when we first started dating. And I don't know, but I think this combination is pretty awesome. That comfortable sort of love that couples of fifty years share mixed with that new passionate sort of love that everyone experiences. I love it, and I hope it stays this way forever.

Also, I think I'm starting to really like wine. And not in the way that high schoolers drink wine in a box and say that they like wine. But a true appreciation for it. I mean, I used to work with it a lot at good old Bella Napoli, but I never cared much for drinking it. But now, I'm finding myself craving a good malbec with my larger meals, and last night, damn if I didn't put away like six or seven glasses of cabernet. But I couldn't stop, the flavor fit the mood of the party so perfectly, I just couldn't bring myself to turn down any glass that was offered. Although, I have to say, I now remember why I stopped drinking in the first place. The morning after sucks. I didn't even get drunk and I feel like every cell in my body is screaming for water. Jeez.



But as I was saying, last night was b-e-a-utiful. And it makes me super excited for alllll for the summer nights that we having coming to meet us.
Cheers!
<3

I think I may have turned...

Into a bluegrass lover



I'm sorry that I'm always shoving music down your throats at the very beginning of my entries. Like it's a pre-requisite to be able to read the rest of my blog. But this song has been one of those that has recently embedded itself into my head and heart.
It's a song that I've been playing loudly and on repeat for the past couple of days, which in my opinion, is the only proper way to appreciate a newly found and loved song.

Last night was super fun. I spent pretty much all of it with my handsome devil of a man. Have I mentioned how much I love that guy? I know I have, but I'm in a love-y kind of mood right now and I just want to keep saying it over and over until the world stops spinning.

It wasn't even a truly eventful night, but I consider every second of time that I get to spend with him a treat.

First he came over and we got in some cuddle time. We were actually supposed to go to the movies, but we got a bit lazy and kept putting it off until there weren't any showings left.
"What time is it babe?"
"Uhh...seven ten?"
"What time was our showing?"
"Seven?"
"Oh, well we can just catch the next one."

And it went on pretty much like that until we just kind of figured that the movie thing wasn't going to happen.
From there we went to a park and sat in the car for hours and just talked. I love just talking, especially just talking with Derick because he comes up with some pretty wild notions. And hearing the thoughts that float around in his head is my idea of a good time.
From there we made a burger king run and swung by his place to watch the very first Ironman, which I had never seen. Actually, the movie that we were supposed to go see was Ironman 2 but we both agreed that it would be irresponsible to watch it if I hadn't actually seen the first one.

Looking back, it wasn't a very eventful night but I had so much fun. I think it's because it's slowly starting to turn into summer and summer nights are always a blast, even when you're not really doing much of anything.

Tonight should be pretty eventful though. Derick and I were invited to a graduation party for one of his friends. This sounds like it should be fun because I love the person whose party it is, and I get to dress up! The party is for one of Derick's long time friends, and her husband is throwing it for her at his parent's house because they have a huge backyard. My only concern is that it's a barbeque, and I'm kind of the antithesis of barbeque, what with being a leaf-eater and all. But either way it should be a really great night.
Derick said we might even try going to see Ironman again if we're not too lazy this time :)

Well that's it for my squishy, emotionally driven post :)
Have a great day Bloggerland.

Miracle Drug

Even though I've been diggin' A.C. Newman a lot more than I ever have before in my life (hence title Miracle Drug), this New Pornographers song has been stuck in my head since it was released about a week ago on their new album. You should give it a listen, but I warn you, it's pretty catchy D:




This day was pretty okay. I use "okay" tentatively though.
This morning was crazy.
So I woke up at seven thirty-ish so that I could catch my eight twenty-ish bus to school so that I could take my 10am American History from 1865 final. Needless to say the bus was waaay late, and I made it to school with a good amount of time to spare. But sitting in El Paso morning sun waiting for a bus that I thought was never coming started making me suuuuper anxious. I ran some errands at school, feeling fine the whole time, but then things didn't start feeling very well at all. Everything got really spinny, and my mind couldn't stop racing, and my breaths started getting a lot more shallow, and my stomach started feeling very topsy turvey, until the next thing I know I'm kneeling in front of a toilet, and being really thankful that no one else was in the bathroom with me :/

Honestly, I don't know what happened, like yeah, I've gotten anxiety attacks before, but nothing like this. Usually I'm pretty good about putting a stopper on things like that before they get to me. But for some reason, I worked myself up into such a tizzy that it made me sick. I feel like a five year old :/

I don't know where this anxiety is coming from though. I think it started last night, when right before I tried going to sleep. I thought one thought, and then it turned into another thought, and another, and another, until my mind was going a mile a minute.
Luckily Derick called to say goodnight. And so he got to get an earful of me ranting, and crying, and raving like I was going nuts. Poor guy, all he wanted to do was say goodnight :(

Things started looking up after my little "incident" though. I think I did really well on my history test.
At least I feel like I did well
I hope that I did well...

Then I went off to my last day of Design and had my Woody Allens critiqued. As a class we decided that Mr. Complimentary Allen looked more like a Complimentary Bill Nye the science guy. And we decided that I should do a series of guys that just look like my Woody Allens.
For instance:
Orville Redenbacher (popcorn guy)
And Where's Waldo




So then I just came home and passed out the moment I did :/ and after I publish this, I think I'll probably just pass out again.
Tomorrow is the first day of my summer so tonight, I think I'm probably just going to catch up on all of the sleeping that I didn't do this semester ;)
I hope you guys will do the same :D

P.S. Whenever I'm working on a new post, all it does is give me html and not actual images. Working with html makes me nervous so if anyone can tell me how to change it back, I'd love you forever!

American in Paris...

So about writing an entry a day, everyday until my birthday... I guess I lied :/
Really, I just didn't have anything to talk about.
That, and I wanted to finish my Woody Allens first so that I could have a show and tell

For those who I haven't complained to, my Woody Allens are two low reliefs made out of matteboard, cut and painted to look like Woody Allen. They're for my final project in design and they have been the bane of my existence for the past two weeks...mainly because I'm lazy. Well, I finally finished both of them tonight, and even though it's not my best work, I'm just glad to say they're done.
I'd like to introduce you all to Misters Monochromatic Allen and Complimentary Allen:



The one on the left is made with complimentary colors: Yellow and purple, red and green, orange and blue, etc
The one on the right is monochromatic, even though it doesn't look like it. The base color was what the tube of paint called "Flesh" but I think the person whose flesh it was supposed to match was George Hamilton's because it came out waaaay too orange.



Ba doom chhh. Get it? Eh? Eh? :D

Anyway, everything else is going pretty okay. Well, kind of, not really. I still don't have a job, and I still don't really talk to anyone. And I failed that stupid art history class. Which is really embarrassing, because who fails an art history class? But the cool thing is that I get to retake it in the summer with the badass Dr. Schultz who I had last semester, and who I was pretty teacher's pet-ish with. She's so much fun, and I'm positive that I'll pass the class with at least a high B if she's my professor.
But until then, I'm stuck feeling guilty about my failed class until summer 2 rolls around.

I decided to take summer 2 instead of both summer 1 and 2 because I was supposed to be going on vacation in June. I mean, I still kind of am, but it's only for a weekend to Tucson. The original plan was that my family and my guy were going to go to Tucson to say hi to my aunt and her boyfriend and his kiddos for a few days. Then Derick and I would take off somewhere grand and exciting, and have loads of fun, and make memories and whatever. But of course, that fell though so now it's just me, my family, and some more southwestern desert :/ Don't get me wrong, I love my family and the southwestern desert, but I would've loved escaping to somewhere new with the mister.

On the bright side, I bought a new dress. It's from ModCloth which is a bit ambitious for someone who is currently unemployed, but whatever, I thought it was cute, AND I get to wear it to my friends "wedding" where the bridesmaids have to wear red. (I'm a bridesmaid.)


By the way, is it just me, or is everyone either getting engaged, married, or pregnant? Like it's crazy how many people I'm seeing who are putting up sonograms as their profile pictures. Not that it's a bad thing at all. It's just amazing to me that everyone is moving forward with their lives. And it kind of stings too, because I'm sitting here jobless and frustrated and all of these really good things are happening to everyone around me. Oh well, maybe I just have to wait for my good stuff to happen, right?

Well, I guess I'll write a bit more tomorrow :)
I mean it this time
Wish me luck on my History final and my Design critique!
And I'll wish you luck on whatever it is that you need luck for :)

P.S. Thinking about getting a job at Victoria's Secret. Thoughts?

Chick flicks

Tonight seems like it's going to be a night of movies. Chick flicks to be more exact.

Right now I found myself half watching Pride & Prejudice (Keira Knightly version) on E! while I was flipping through some tumblrs. Personally, I think Mr. Darcy is a jerk. Give me Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre any day. (In their book versions though.)

And then hopefully I can motivate myself into getting in the shower today since I haven't taken one today. I know, I'm gross!

And then while I'm working on my masquerade mask, my texture project, and even while I'm getting a head start on my Woody Allen (I'll discuss that later), I'll be watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I don't care what anyone says. It's probably my favorite movie ever.

Although it's probably going to make me kind of lonely. And it's going to make me want to do some cuddling. I haven't cuddled in a little while now since Derick's been busy...

Then just to lighten the mood, I'll throw in some Mallrats. I could really go for Chasing Amy right now, but I don't own it, and Mallrats is the closest to another Kevin Smith chick flick.

With a couple of art projects to get done, a box of curry next to me, and a good few movies, it sounds like it's going to be a pretty cozy night :)

My heart's on Fire

Before you read the rest of this entry, please press play on the video featured below. This song has the same feeling that today did, and I think that it would set the mood for this entry.

That, and it's just a really good song :)

1. I woke up in soooo much pain. My horrible throat pains. Seriously my throat was raw, and it was actually pretty gross because I woke up in a puddle of my own drool. I mean, it's been happening a lot since I've been sick, since it really hurts to swallow, but this was just ridiculous. I am giving my pillows a very thorough washing tonight

2. Krystal called me, she hurt her knee at the clubs last night and was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. She wanted me to work her shift at Bella Napoli, but I declined. I mean, seeing as how I quit that job and all. And it's funny, because for a split second, I was about to break out my apron and run over there until I caught myself. I guess I do really miss that place

3. We have to make a documentary for my English class on Payday Loans. The problem is, it's a group project and I hate working in groups so much. So I went to Kinley's to meet my group, just hating the world because my bus was late, because I actually have to go and meet a group, because I'm sick and didn't feel well, because I wanted to curl up in bed and watch season 3 of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia instead.

4. I meet my group and start hating the world even more, because the guy in the group is a "leader" type, and I'm the "if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself" type, and neither one of us was the letting the other talk. And Payday Loan offices apparently don't give interviews so this documentary seems to be going down the drain

5. So I'm hating the world right? With my sore throat, and an unfinished documentary, and I decided to get some soup at Kinley's because god knows there's nothing to eat at my house. And one of the girls from my group sits down with me because she's waiting for her ride, and starts talking to me. Like actually talking to me. I mean, no lies, she's the socially awkward type, and she told me that there's a reason for that. It's actually a condition, and it actually made me happy to hear that. Not because she has a condition, but because a person that I don't know very well just decided to tell me that. She also told me that it caused her family a lot of stress, and as if on cue, her father walks in right then, the most cheerful looking guy in the world. It made me so happy.

6. So she leaves and I'm chewing on my ramen by myself, and a girl sitting on the couch across from me giggles and looks up at me. I have no idea why she giggled but I noticed that she was barefoot, and I noticed that she was wearing a flowy white skirt, and that she was reading Khalil Gibran. And she goes up to the counter and orders something to drink, and the guy there asks her if she has ever read a certain Syrian author. And I told the girl through my thoughts "I used to be you." Wearing flowy skirts that were as free as I wanted to be, and reading books that would set me as free as my skirt, and going everywhere barefoot without caring about "germs", and striking up conversations about books with random people in restaurants. And I really miss being that girl

7. I left Kinley's and waited at my bus stop, with the bus running late again, but this time I didn't mind as much. The sun was warm, and I noticed a homeless guy sitting at one of the benches. I know it wasn't always safe, but I used to talk to a lot of homeless people at bus stops, and I stopped awhile ago because of the safety issue. But I had to check the schedule that was posted next to him, and I went and we chatted. He was a veteran, like many other homeless men are, sadly. And he told me about his life. Awful things about how he saw his brother dying right next to him in combat, but he told me other things too. Like how his youngest daughter is twenty one and that she's beautiful and that all the guys are chasing after her. It made him happy

8. A guy came over, one of the veterans' friends apparently. He kept looking over at me while he was talking to the man, and finally acknowledged me. He asked me "So, do you go to school here?" I said yes. He asked "So what are you into? Like, what do you do?" Like a robot I asked "What, like my major?" he said "Uhm, sure? I guess." It was the split second that made me realize, I have nothing going for me anymore. No passions, no ambition, no direction. Anything. And this may just sound like a pity rant, but it really upsets me. I used to know what I loved and I loved doing it. I don't anymore... I'm too young for a midlife crisis.

9. Needing some cheering up, I went over to Bella Napoli to say hi to the folks. I miss everyone so much. They were my family, totally and completely, and it makes me sad that I had to leave them. But I mean, depth doesn't frequent Bella Napoli. Only the well kept and kind of snobby do, and it was killing my faith in humanity a little, being treated like I was a servant and not a server.

10. So now I'm home, mulling over my life, knowing that this post is going to come out waaay too long. But it's okay. This makes up for all of the non-posting that I have done. Maybe I'll finish my masquerade mask, start on my texture project, maybe even do my final project if I'm feeling frisky. And then I can mull some things over some more.

11. The only thing that could have made this day so much better, was if I were able to see my love :) Maybe tomorrow? Wish me luck :)