Year One

So I'm pretty sure you're not going to read this, at least I don't think you will seeing as how you've never been much of a blog type of person.

But today was our one year anniversary. It was exactly one year ago since that night when we laid out on the side of your house, sprawled out on top of your Batman blanket and watched for falling stars. Exactly one year ago since we started rekindling the love that we would have shared years ago if we both had the wisdom then that we do now. Exactly one year ago since you asked me to be your girlfriend.
And just recently, you asked me to share the rest of my life with you. And I answered yes with the same enthusiasm that I did one year ago.
I love you Derick
I hope you know that you still give me butterflies

Mr. Blue Sky

I have ELO stuck in my head. Oh my :)

Oh what a crazy couple of days...

So about two days ago I wrote a very angsty post about how my boyfriend had been incarcerated, and reading that post now, even I think I was being a tad dramatic. I mean, I completely meant everything that I said, but even at that point I knew in the back of my mind that he's tough and he's smart and that he would be safe. Another adjective that I've given him lately is brave. I don't know that I will ever own the courage that is needed to take the blame for the actions of one of my friends. Especially when the penalty for that blame is jail. But I have to say, watching him be that loyal and that brave made me love him all the more...

So here are couple of updates:

- I bought an SLR. And trust me, if I weren't so madly in love with this camera, I would be having a serious case of buyer's remorse right now. Soooo expensive. Well, to a person who is currently jobless, it was expensive. But while Derick and I were wandering up and down the aisles of Best Buy, I spotted the camera, and our eyes locked across a crowded showroom floor. I turned to Derick, pointed at the devilishly handsome Canon Rebel XS and said "I want it, and I'm getting it." He understood my desire and, being the awesome boyfriend that he is, even offered to pay half. But it wouldn't have been morally right to let him pay for my impulse buys so I whipped out my debit card and was the happiest girl on earth... Until about a couple of hours later when the reality of how much money I had spent sunk in. But I have decided to just not think about it :D

On the plus side, this means lots and lots and lots of pictures will be coming soon, and I have to say that I'm pretty excited.

- Also, Derick wants to get me an Xbox. Actually, he's been wanting to for a long timenow. But I just don't know if I'm ready for that kind of electronic commitment. I mean, I do want to start playing more video games. And that's just something that's handy to have. But sooo much money goes into it (this coming from the lady who just dropped a good part of her soul on a camera). You have to get Live, and controllers, and a headset, and games... my head is spinning. Although, I feel myself caving, and I don't think it will be long until Derick finally convinces me. But whatever, I do need to start playing more video games anyway :D

Oh dear, what am I going to do with all of these electronics?

Hell

And so ends one of the longest, most hellish, most sleepless nights of my entire life.
Long story short, Derick is holed up in county.
He didn't do anything bad - at least not to the extent that I consider bad.
We were pulled over last night
I was patted down, told to sit on the sidewalk, and was forced to watch as my boyfriend was interrogated and later handcuffed and led to the back of a squad car
Yeah, I felt pretty helpless
And really really angry
But I don't think a cop would have appreciated me telling him to get his dirty paws off of my boyfriend

But the search and the experience with the police was the easiest part of my night.
I haven't slept
At all
Unless you count the thirty minutes when I accidentally dozed off around five thirty and woke up at six
I'm still wearing last nights clothes and makeup
I've got mascara circled around my eyes from sobbing into my pillow every ten minutes
And I've got to say that knowing that the person you love is in fucking county jail, surrounded by the real criminals has got to be the most sickening, most heartbreaking, most torturous feeling in the world.
Especially when you know the real story behind what happened.

Luckily I just received a phone call from him.
He says he's doing fine, and even though I know that they're not about to send him to work making license plates, I'm still worried sick for him
And I guess that him being fine is all that I can ask for in a situation like this.
But damn if I wasn't kicking myself all night for not doing things differently
Not even like the big things that would have changed the course of the night
But the small things
No matter how many times a day you hug the person you love, you don't realize that it's not enough until something like this happens
For all the times Derick and I have shared an "I love you", last night, it just didn't seem like enough. If I had known what was going to happen, "I love you" would have been the only thing that I would have said to him all day.

And while we're on the subject of "I love you", why is that the only phrase we have for something like that???
I'm sorry, but when I finally got that call from Derick, saying I love you just wasn't good enough for what I felt for him right then.
I love you x 1000000000000000000000 would have been much more accurate. But the English language doesn't have a phrase for that yet. I say we invent one


--------- Update ---------

So Derick is now home safe and sound and I'm finally breathing easier. Phew!

What happens

when you and the person that you love want some very different things out of life?
Answer me that.

I am

REALLY FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW!!!!!
I can't tell anybody why though. Just in case things do work out for me in the end
Which, at the way they're going, probably isn't going to happen.

But on a different note, does anyone want to go to San Francisco with me this summer? I was thinking of going by train (Amtrak) and would be leaving on the fifteenth if anyone is interested.

Well, since I can't really talk about what it is that I wanted to talk about, here is the continuation of that meme that I've been doing:

Day 3. What is your favorite television show of all time?

Yikes, that's a hard one. You know, I really do love It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and it is probably one of my favorite shows of all time, ever. Buuuut, I have to be honest. And some of you will laugh at me. But I freaking love Roseanne. No joke

That show is just super relatable and I can see a bit of one of my family members in each character. Especially the grandmother, yeesh, my own grandmother should've tried out for the part. She wouldn't have had to act one bit :/

Resigned.

First of all, I would like to thank my friend Emily for getting New Order stuck in my head. I hadn't heard Ceremony in forevvver, and it's a nice change from the bluegrass that I've been singing all weekend :D

Yesterday was pretty alright. I did lunch with my friend Krystal at our favorite dive, Carnita's Queretaro. I'm super happy that she's going vegetarian again, so that now I have someone to share my meals with! We split a Mil Amores (Thousand Loves, ooh la la) salad, and moved on to delicious potato bean and cheese burrito. No pictures of that because I was ravenous and totally was not thinking about pictures at the time.

Then we went out with her and her friend Ziad and they taught me how to drive. Because I swear to god, I am going to get my stupid license if it kills me!!!!!! Geez! But I actually did super well considering that I hadn't been behind the wheel of a car in almost a year. In fact, maybe just a couple more drives and I'll be set to get my license? Maybe? Hopefully.... Anyway we drove around all over the place until they decided to go check out a potential "ghost hunting spot."

Now, Krystal, is a bit of a chicken, but I have to give her credit because she seems always down to go ghost hunting. But this particular spot was waaaaaaay out in the boonies. Like, down by Horizon City kind of boonies. It's like this ruined gazebo thing that is next to some old abandoned "haunted" house where people do like Satanic rituals and things like that. But when we got to the gazebo, it was really hard to believe that it was anything close to Satanic because it was so beautiful. The pillars of the gazebo looked like we were standing in some sort of Roman ruin, and the sun was shining, and it overlooked farming fields and you could just make out the horizon of the west side. Gah, it was so pretty. Luckily I took pictures this time.



Okay, okay. I only took one picture because after that I got distracted by a troupe of quail that were walking by! I freaking love quail. And there were bunnies everywhere too. It was a nature filled afternoon and it was really peaceful too considering I was standing on site that was supposedly haunted.

And guess who was the lucky fella who got to drives us home all the way from the ends of the east side? Me!!! Of course. Although I don't know where they got the idea to stick me on the freeway on my first day. But eh. We made it.

Although I am sad to report that there probably won't be very many pictures for awhile. My point and shoot is on it's last leg, and unless I can somehow make money appear in my pocket to buy myself an SLR, I'm doomed. Which sucks, because I really wanted a new camera just in case that trip to Frisco does work out in the end. On the other hand, the camera I am eyeing is worth probably the same amount as a trip to Frisco.
Everyone, meet the Canon Rebel.


Sigh.
Oh!! And I almost forgot about that meme thing.

Day 2. What is your favourite movie ever?
Well, I don't know that this is my favourite movie ever ever. But is certainly is one of my very very top favorites.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I haven't met a single person who hasn't fallen in love with this movie after they've seen it and I can understand why.
Also, Derick and I have deemed this "our" movie. Teehee. I know, it's corny, but it reminds us a lot of one another. And besides, it's just one of those snuggle up on a rainy day with your love kinds of movies. Right?

<3

Fire

So, here's this meme that's been going around Tumblr and Facebook a lot lately, but since I really don't use my Tumblr anymore, and I don't want everyone on Facebook to see this, I figure I'll post it here :)

Day 1: My favourite song of all time.
Day 2: My favourite movie of all time
Day 3: My favorite television program
Day 4: My favorite book
Day 5: My favorite quote
Day 6: My biggest pet peeve
Day 7: A photo that makes me happy
Day 8: A photo that makes me angry or sad
Day 9: A photo I took
Day 10: A photo of me taken over ten years ago
Day 11: A photo of me taken recently
Day 12: Whatever tickles my fancy
Day 13: A fictional book
Day 14: A non-fictional book
Day 15: A fanfic
Day 16: A song that makes me cry
Day 17: An art piece
Day 18: Whatever tickles my fancy
Day 19: A talent of mine
Day 20: A hobby of mine
Day 21: A recipe
Day 22: A website
Day 23: A YouTube video
Day 24: Whatever tickles my fancy
Day 25: My day, in great detail
Day 26: My week, in great detail
Day 27: My month, in great detail
Day 28: My year, in great detail
Day 29: Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30: Whatever tickles my fancy


Day 1: I don't think I really have a favourite song of all time anymore. And those kinds of questions confuse me a little because there are just so many options. But here's one of my favorite songs that has stayed with me through various times in my life